Does anyone remember a certain French Queen who famously said ‘well if they do not have bread to eat, why don’t they eat the cake?’. Anyone who knows this will also know what her fate was. Marie Antoinette ended with her head on that famous French chopping block – guillotine. Neat, instant and bloody. Why am I reminded of this early in the morning?
Because as I sat almost senseless early in the morning in front of the Torture Box (Pakistan News channels ) a head line ran across telling us that the minister for Human rights in Pakistan informed the august (hehehe) house that number of suicide was on the rise in the country. He also informed that during the last one year there have been 120 suicides in Punjab, 56 in Sind, 20 in KPK and 15 in Baluchistan. I can confidently multiply this number by the factor of ten.
By what really irked and drove me effing blinding mad was the headline that followed. It was the speaker of national Assembly instructing the government that they should ‘run a campaign of awareness against suicide, and instruct the mosques to tell people that suicide is haram’. Instantly I was reminded of the French Queen. What the F? Do these people rally live in the real world? So what does the honourable speaker thinks. People commit suicide as a matter of effing choice?
What the hell is she implying, our honourable speaker (who by the way is second in line to take over the presidentship after the Senate Chairman)? So what does she think the awaam of Islamic republic of Pakistan do?
The poor souls just wake up in the morning and say to their wives and families ‘Darling I am not feeling great today and I am bloody depressed. There is nothing much to eat and hardly any clean water to drink. The weather is unbearably hot and there is not much electricity to provide a few minutes of relief, and if there was, we do not have much money to pay the bills anyway, (even more so now since our beloved awaami government has raised the tariffs as demanded by IMF, since poor them are having soooo much difficulty in spending on their trips abroad and living high and mighty to run the country without much money in the national coffers that they had to turn to IMF). And I know that school system is effed up and the hospitals stink. And you my sons and daughters I know you will continue to toil without much reward. So I am sorry, but I have now come to the conclusion that the best way to enjoy myself is to commit suicide’. And they all nod in agreement ‘yes abu we think it is the best way. Poor you but it would be so good for all of us. Once you have done that we will all live happily ever after. So thanks for being such a great Dad’.
And then they turn to their wives and say ‘I know we were all to live together happily but I think my suicide will definitely improve matters for you and make your life so easy. So what do you say jaan e maan? And she would cheerily agree and say yes darling I totally agree. Now let us think what would be the best way to take your own life? Umm let me think. What about jumping in front of the train ( but that is likely to be not on time so unpredictable). What about electrocution (how without electricity) and there is not much water in the rivers to jump into. Allah in this Godforsaken country is there no way to commit suicide’? Why can’t you bloody postpone it for a few days. No, he insists I must do it today. I need a word with Allah and there is no stopping me. And there he goes.and she shouts behind him ‘O remember the bearded man who you was was offering you – – -”
So is this what our honourable national speaker thinks goes in the households where a poor soul is forced to take his own life? How sick is her mind and how sick are our governing classes? Have we still not seen the depths of depravity to which they can fall to? It seems not.
There is an old adage ‘those whom the gods wish to destroy they first make mad’. Let me add onto this. ‘Those whom the gods have already destroyed, they give them to Zardaris and Sharifs to rule’.